I came out as bi when I was 14, later as a lesbian at 15. I remember being okay with being a tomboy until I got to high school. I started hanging out with other trans kids (By the end the trans kids outweighed the gay kids) and I later came out as non-binary. I thought that that would make me feel better. I was told that if you don’t fit in with certain gender stereotypes, you might be non-binary or agender or whatever. It really confused me because I feel like I wasn’t a girl, but I didn’t want to be a boy either. I bought a binder, cut my hair off, and wanted to change my name. Thankfully I stopped before I could do any real damage to my body, but it was a close call. I had even talked to my counselor about going on a low dose of testosterone. Only one other person knows about this story. I’m 21 years old and I’m happy being a girl. I’m a lesbian and I accept that.

It’s okay to be gender non-conforming but still be a girl or a boy, but sometimes gender roles are a good thing. They give us an identity. It is the structure of our society and I believe we need them.

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