Transition was a means of escape.
I‘ve struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder since I was 12, and hormones seemed like the miracle cure to it all. A way to get away from an intense dissociation with my physical body.
Shortly after beginning my transition, my mental and physical health spiraled. It changed my life in ways I wish I could take back.
I know now I‘m simply a butch lesbian. I feel at home with myself, and have begun repairing my relationship with my body. I thought for so long we were two separate things, but now I know my body is actively me, and I am not an outsider in it.
I’m about to turn 21, and I've found myself engaging in the world in ways I never have before. I feel motivated and energized.
Detransition was a shock in my system that woke me up from a fantasy, and I couldn't be more thankful I found the community of detransitioned women online.