Content warning: Eating disorders, suicide
Growing up in a female body wasn’t easy for me. Friends told me that I should lose weight, I couldn't leave the house without men whistling after me and people talked to my breasts instead of talking to my face. My body didn’t feel like it was mine.
When I was 20 I couldn’t identify as a woman anymore, I shaved my hair and I starved myself into being underweight to somehow get rid of the body I hated so much. I found out about the term transgender and I couldn’t stop thinking about it anymore.
I decided to either kill myself or to transition into a man. Maybe I simply wasn’t supposed to be a woman, maybe I was simply born transgender. It was the only explanation I could find.
Transitioning saved me and I won't ever regret this decision. But it also brought me to a place of reflection on why I really transitioned. I don't think that I was born trans anymore, instead I think that I became trans.
I am planning to stop testosterone and going back to a female appearance. To face the bad image of women that society taught me and embrace a new and stronger one.
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